Friday Afternoon Quick Hits: Who is Salt?

He's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

The Rangers had an off-day yesterday, the Cowboys pretty much had an off-day yesterday and the Mavs are in the middle of summer obscurity. Yesterday was fantastic. Oh, and Jarrod Saltalamacchia returns to Arlington tonight. In Googling Salty's name, the fourth suggested search after "jarrod saltalamacchia", "jarrod saltalamacchia bio", "jarrod saltalamacchia espn" and "jarrod saltalamacchia wife"  was "jarrod saltalamacchia yips." LOL. Onto the hits!

Thursday Afternoon Quick Hits: The 'Well ... Me!' Edition

See, the Yankees really are Nazis. HEIL!

Well that was tons of fun last night, wasn't it? Good thing I went Tuesday night instead of last night. I might of taken a poop on the pitching mound. But enough about bodily fluids on pitching mounds, let's get into the hits: 

Wednesday Afternoon Quick Hits: Murph Dog Takes a Bite Out of Crime!

I think the best way to keep this blog updated with fresh content is to change formats. So instead of me racking my brain to write one big story (and in the process, editing and cutting and all that goes with my larger posts), I'll instead post at least once every weekday with thoughts and links on previous day (or the current morning) sports stories. This way I don't go three weeks in between posting. So let's try it out:

Dampier contract reels in...Tyson Chandler

I really wish the I could be typing right now that the Dallas Mavericks have used Erik Dampier's super-awesome expiring contract to bring in the man on the right in the picture above.

Sadly, it was for the man on the left.

Breaking just over a half hour ago by one of the best in the biz, the Mavericks have traded Erik Dampier,  Matt Carroll, Eddie Najera for Tyson Chandler and French project Alex Ajinca.

Many of you will be disappointed. In fact, all of you will. And you should be. In fact, I interrupted a Ranger's post because I am so, absolutely livid and dejected with this news.

For over a year now, the Maverick's front office has promised us the fruits of our labor (IE, having to watch Erik Dampier play basketball for over half a decade) would turn into a star. A superstar. A big name, a move that could alter the course of the Dallas Mavericks franchise.

With Dampier's magically vanishing contract (Club can waive the entire contract before the start of this season, collecting huge cap relief) we thought we could bring in someone special. Andre Iguodala, Elton Brand, Carlos Boozer, Michael Redd, Richard Hamilton. Even some had the wishful thinking of perhaps a Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh, Chris Paul or even LeBron James. Heck, some fans were probably even going to be happy with Kevin Martin or Vince Carter (before he retired to his wheel chair during the 2009-2010 season).

But instead we get this: We get a center who didn't put it together until his sixth season, and that was only because he was finishing alley-oops from CP3. We got a BACK UP center who has only averaged double figures in points once ('07-'08), rebounds twice ('06-'07, '07-'08) and has never finished in the top 10 in blocked shots in his nine year career.

We also get a player whose past two seasons have limited him to 51 and 45 games. We get a player who has walked around in a walking boot more then he has sneakers in the last two seasons. Getting a back up to Brendan Haywood (whether it was Shaq at the Mid-Level Exception or Dampier on a smaller contract after being waived) was a priority for the Mavericks. But using the team's most valuable assest to achieve it? Questionable. And disappointing. And I'll give Cuban and Donnie Nelson credit for acquiring a guy on a one year deal (Chandler can go out to the pasture after this year) that gives the team more cap room for the summer of 2011. I understand that. In the end, this will probably go down as a "smart" move that provides one more "missing" piece to our continuing championship conundrum. It's savvy. It's smart. But it's not franchise altering. It doesn't give hope. It isn't renewing my season tickets if I was on the fringe after ANOTHER embarrassing playoff exit.

It isn't Dwayne Wade and it isn't Chris Paul. The Mavericks have offered promises before to real in Dirk's All-Star sidekick. And I've believed them every time. It wasn't Jason Terry. It wasn't Josh Howard. It wasn't Jason Kidd. It wasn't Caron Butler.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice?

Shame on me.

The day after tomorrow

It's over. It happened. I tweeted last night I wasn't sure if I was going to wake up tomorrow because reading Twitter I was fairly sure the end of the world was going to happen last night. Instead of an actual column, let's just get into the random thoughts going through my head.

BREAKING: LeBron snubs teams, creates his own.

BEDFORD, Texas - Amid speculation of LeBron James' new destination, the reigning two-time MVP has made his choice hours before the official "Decision" special airs on ESPN at 9 p.m. ET.

LeBron will forgo any offers from current NBA teams and start his own professional basketball franchise James told TROP.

Sources close to James have said LeBron was planning something big, but James let the secret out Thursday afternoon.

Ehh, what now Doc?

Well that was fun, wasn't it? July 1st has come and gone, and no one is dead yet. So that's good news. What's also good news is that Dirk Nowitzki has agreed to a 4-year, 80 million deal to stay with the only team he's known and loved. That's fantastic. It's super duper. Except we all sort of knew he was staying. Well I did at least.

But now there is a more pressing concern: what next?