Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Well That Sucked

First off, let the record show that I, Josh Bowe, did not rage once during the entire Mavs telecast. I instead directed my anger towards my twitter and it worked wonders. No thrown controllers, remotes or broken TV's. No noise complaints. I am very pleased.

What's funny is that reading facebook statuses is like reading someone's IQ test. It opens your eyes to who's really dumb, who's sorta got a grasp on life, and who's a whore (facebook ftw).

So as I read "MAVS SUCK RAWR I HATE MAVS THEY STINK 0-82" about 32123098 times I realized there's a reason I want to do this for a living and some people want to be doctor's or interior designers. Or ditch diggers and hookers.

Now most bloggers and writers gushed that the Mavs ceiling is very high. But they also sort of threw in a nitpick - this team could crash and burn.

We could get Miami/Toronto Marion and not Suns Marion
We could get an even worse defensively J-Kidd
We could see Terry's decline from the playoffs continue
We could see Gooden being a knucklehead
We could see Dirk doing the 1-on-5 offense
We could see Q-Ross being bad...oh wait that was going to happen regardless*

So take what you will from the Mavs season opener. Pray that Josh Howard will be back soon, and realize that Dirk and Terry are the only real shooters in the rotation...let that sink in and then you'll realize that this team will stink on offense some nights when the ball isn't moving and we shoot over 15 threes a game. This team should NEVER shoot more than 15 3's a game. It's basketball blasphemy.

*I will be taking shots at Quinton Ross all season long, regardless of if he averages 35 ppg, wins an MVP, and marries Marissa Miller.

Wait, Ross was one of two Mavs last night to post a positive +/-?!?!

So much for not breaking any remotes.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The Worst NBA/Dallas Mavericks Preview 2009-2010 Edition

Yep, the NBA starts tomorrow. Wait, it starts tonight? Guess I should preview it huh? Sounds good.

If you've been reading NBA previews on the various blogs and sites this month, nothing here will truly surprise you, especially about the Mavericks. There isn't much more to be said that hasn't already been said by people way smarter than me.

So instead of crunch the numbers and look at stats, I'm just going to sit at my desk and crunch this baby out going on pure guts, emotions and my superior intelligence. First we'll look closely at the Mavs, then the league in general.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Kris Humphries Will Make You Forget Brandon Bass was Ever a Maverick

You see that guy up there? Wait, correction...see that MAN up there?

He's a man's man. It's written all over that picture. See it? It's all over it. This is a manly man. The kind of man that invented the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's the kind of man he is. You're just a person with a small brain, a brain a third the size of his. It's science. He also owns suits that would make Frank Sinatra look like a hobo.

His name is Kris Humphries, and he spells it Kris because he can do whatever the #@$% he wants. Go ahead, try to tell him it's spelled "Chris." He'll eat your babies even if you don't have any.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Cowboys 26, Chiefs 20: Keep Austin Weird (Or at Least in the Lineup)

Drew Pearson, Bob Hayes, Michael Irvin...Miles Austin?

Never Austin's name would ever be placed in even the same breath as former great Cowboy wide outs, and as everyone's favorite annoying football analyst says, that's why they play the games.

Most receiving yards by a Cowboy in a regular season game ever. He will forever be remembered in the record books for a truly spectacular game (even more so because almost all of his yards were after the catch).

I don't really know where to start after Austin. I guess since this game was so poorly played and ugly that's how this wrap up will look. Just going to jot down the random thoughts I had about this game.