Monday, October 19, 2009

Kris Humphries Will Make You Forget Brandon Bass was Ever a Maverick

You see that guy up there? Wait, correction...see that MAN up there?

He's a man's man. It's written all over that picture. See it? It's all over it. This is a manly man. The kind of man that invented the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's the kind of man he is. You're just a person with a small brain, a brain a third the size of his. It's science. He also owns suits that would make Frank Sinatra look like a hobo.

His name is Kris Humphries, and he spells it Kris because he can do whatever the #@$% he wants. Go ahead, try to tell him it's spelled "Chris." He'll eat your babies even if you don't have any.

First, let me make this perfectly clear: I LOVE Brandon Bass. I love his athleticism. His tenacity. His ferocity. His awesomecity. His two handed man-jams. The fact that he was 6-6 and played center. His sweet mid-range jumper. His equally sweet fade-a-way that he learned from Dirk. And he shot 86.7 percent from the free throw line. The fact that he was part of the most efficient group of 5 players on the court in the NBA (Can't find the link, but the lineup of Bass, Dirk, Howard, Terry and Kidd were the best in the NBA according to PER. Yeah shocking.)

But guess what? Kris is going to make you forget all that. And this is not drinking the preseason kool-aid, even though it is quite tasty, especially Humphries flavor. I know what you're thinking. "It's just preseason" but preseason NBA can tell a lot more than NFL preseason and MLB spring training. Because if you can hit a jumper with a man running at you from 15-17 feet in preseason, you can do it in the regular season. And Humphries is doing that and then some.

Also give me the benefit of the doubt because unlike many of you I imagine, I watched Humphries play in college. For his one season at Minnesota he dominated in every way and shape of the word. His averages of 21.7 points and 10.1 boards don't even do the man justice (even though those numbers for almost anyone else would). So give me the benefit of the doubt while I gush over this man.

Maybe he was taken a bit high (14th overall by Utah in 2004). He has never averaged more than 13 minutes a game in the league. So bust should have been written all over him. Aye there's the rub. I said should. Humphries has never been given the time to really exploit his skills and it's not like coaches say bad things about the guy. In fact here's Rick Carlise.

"He’s been pretty steady. I’m greedy, I want him to play better and better. He needs to be an energizer guy for us off the bench. He’s going to give us really quality depth at the big positions.”

Sounds pretty good to me. Expect to see Humphries play some 4 and some 5. Expect him to do exactly what Bass did for the Mavs last year and maybe then some. Humphries is a little taller and has a little more range/offensive options. Expect a little tougher defense and probably a little more boards. Expect this not because of the preseason, but because Humphries has been doing this is whole life. In college and in the pros. Humphries averages over 36 minutes per game? 12.9 and 9.3. Yeah I sure am drinking the preseason kool-aid alright and making blind judgments. Just expect Kris Humphries to make you forget that certain animal from last season because he's an animal in his own right.

And because he looks good. And everyone should see how good he looks.

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