Making Sense of the Dallas Defense

When you ask someone "what's the first thing that comes to mind when you think of the Dallas Mavericks?" you're sure to get a variety of responses: Dirk, Mark Cuban, Donnie Nelson, Steve Nash, run-and-gun, Jason Kidd, Shawn Bradley posters, high tempo, fastbreak and maybe even Nick Van Exel.

Noticeably absent from that list is, of course, defense. Throughout Dallas' renaissance of basketball over the last decade, the facet of the game that the Mavericks hung their hat on was definitely putting the ball in the basket. A lot. Who can forget the Western Conference Final team of 2003 that featured Dirk entering his prime (and chucking away a career high 4.9 threes a game), Steve Nash becoming the All-Star we know him as, Michael Finely being an all-around offensive machine and Nick Van Exel lighting it up, much in the same form as Jason Terry.

But it's never brought a championship. The only year Dallas has made it to the finals (2006) was when Avery Johnson drastically changed the culture of the club to a half-court, defensive oriented team. The Mavericks finally looked at bringing in a defensive center to compliment Dirk (Erick Dampier, 'Gana Diop) instead of failed offensive specialists that couldn't rebound or protect the rim (Raef LaFrentz, come on down!)

So now, how amazing/surprising to see the Mavericks with a higher defensive efficiency, than the rough, rugged and other arbitrary adjective Boston Celtics? That's right. Dallas is giving up 97.1 points per 100 possessions, which ranks them fourth in the league behind New Orleans, Orland and Miami (with the only shocker in that group the upstart Hornets.) How does this happen? Sure, playing games at the Clippers, Bobcats and 76ers certainly helps. But the Mavs have also had to tangle with potent offenses in Boston, Denver (twice) and Memphis (twice). How does this happen with a defensive black hole like J.J. Barea?

The first reason is that when Barea has been in the game, Dallas has gone almost exclusively to a zone, which hides many players individual faults. There's no question that the zone has seen effecitve use in wins against Denver and Memphis, where Dallas has been able to rest Jason Kidd and allow a well-prepared zone to befuddle opposing teams. Of course, zone does not work in the NBA over and extended period. Flaws will be shown and rebounds will be allowed. But used in short bursts? To hide weak defensive players? Why not?

Of course, the Mavericks have typically ranked low in the league in defensive play rate, which judges the rate at which a team collects steals, blocks and charges. Dallas has always been content with sitting back in man-to-man and playing straight up defense. No longer, at least this year. Dallas now ranks eighth. Jason Kidd averaging over two steals a game helps, along with Shawn Marion's ability to rack up a couple of steals and blocks a game to boot. But a big reason? Tyson Chandler. He's averaging 2.25 defensive plays a game, his highest since when he was running rampant in New Orleans. He's also cleaning up the glass, a big component to defense, grabbing 26.8% of the total defensive rebounds in a given game - once again, his highest since New Orleans.

Chandler also helped Dallas match up with the quicker centers and power forwards that has normally plagued Dallas in the past. As much as we scolded Erik Dampier, the man was a decent rebounder, screen setter and plug in the paint. The problem was asking him to step out of the paint. It's been well documented how well "fast big men" have given the Mavericks trouble. Nene, Amar'e Stoudemire, etc. With Chandler mobility, combined with health and an apparent enjoyability he's having right now, has given the Mavericks something that they aren't used to: defense. It's too early to know if the play will progress, but given the new variables of the use of zone, Chandler + Haywood's full-season impact, the unseen potential of rookie Dominique Jones (who Rick Carlisle has said is one of the teams best defenders) plus the ever steady Shawn Marion, Dallas might be able to jump into the upper echelon of elite NBA defenses.

(Advanced stats courtesy of Hoopdata.com)

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The Curious Case of Caron

40.

That's the number of players that have a higher 3PT field goal percentage than Caron Butler's FG%...at the rim.

40!


Now, understand, that we're about two weeks into the season. DeJuan Summers is not going to shoot 100% for the rest of the year, or shoot enough to qualify that mark. But still. In his stay with Dallas so far, Butler has a 45.8 FG% at the rim. That, put bluntly, is absolutely horrible and unacceptable for the kind of player Butler is and his role on the Mavericks.

To compare, Dirk Nowitzki's percentage at the rim hasn't been lower than 59% in the last four years. Same for Jason Terry. Even Jason Kidd - the only point guard in the league that appears allergic to layups - has never posted a field goal percentage below 51 in his time with Dallas.

So what gives? The strange thing is that Butler hasn't posted anything this poor over the last four years. From 2007-2009 his FG% at the tim was 59, 69 and 63, respectively. And this is with about one more shot attempt at the rim per game to boot. What's the diagnoses? It's hard to tell. Butler has been an above average finisher at the rim for most of his career. He's always been an excellent free throw shooter. Whatever it is that's plaguing Butler at the rim, it needs to be fixed and fixed soon. We can only hope that as the season continues, Butler's at the rim percentage simply reverts to his career norm. If it doesn't, the Mavericks could be in for a woeful offensive season.

But don't expect those mid-range jump shots to start falling that much more regularly. His highest FG% from 16-23 feet was actually his stint with Dallas, a 48 percent mark. He's hovered between the high 30's and the low 40's otherwise. But, he always managed to shoot a respectable percentage and score a decent number of points by attacking the basket and getting to the free throw line.

When the Mavericks shipped away Josh Howard for Caron Butler and Brandon Haywood last winter, the consensus was that Butler would be able to provide, at worst, Howard's production level. While the offensive woes have been detailed, the defense hasn't been much better. Monday nights win over Boston was a prime example as Paul Pierce toyed with Butler to get off any shot he wanted. Understand that defense in the NBA is more than just contesting a shot. It's forcing players out of their comfort zones. Putting a hand in Dirk's face as he's falling away might look like good defense, but if he's doing it from the free throw line or the left wing? Forget it. Players make good shots when they are in their comfort zones. Butler allowed Pierce to catch the ball wherever he wanted and lost him in transition a couple of times. As a result, Shawn Marion played almost all of the fourth quarter, posted a +10 (for what it's worth) and Pierce wasn't heard from with much regularity down the stretch as he was in the third.

And there isn't even the "well he's not used to being a second option." Butler has been just about every option possible during his stints with the Heat, Lakers, Wizards and Mavs. He's gone from third to second to first to second and almost everything around that. If Caron Butler doesn't turn it around, the Maverick's Jekyll/Hyde offense is going to have lasting problems.

(Advanced stats courtesy of Hoopdata.com)

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10 Things the 2010 Texas Rangers Did to Me

Now that i've let some time pass and reached "acceptance" I feel like I can finally recount all the wonderful things the 2010 Texas Rangers did to me over this past summer (Note: Shut up, you pervs.)

1.) Rekindle my love for Josh Hamilton: Before the 2009 season, I bought my first Ranger t-shirt jersey. It was a no-brainer - Josh Hamilton. The magical 2008 season, the southern drawl that made him sound more Texan than North Carolina. What more could I ask for? How about a repeat performance. Granted he was injured for most of the year, but 2009 was to my love of Josh Hamilton as Batman and Robin was to my love of Batman. So needless to say, I was ready to buy another t-shirt. 2010 proved to me that Josh is more than a one-hit wonder and is still the most talented positional player in all of baseball. Now if only he could play 150 games a year...

2.) Discover some talented writers in the area: As sports-nutzy as I am, my sports consumption usually consisted of the Star-Telegram and ESPN. Shocking I know, but I usually watched most of the games so I didn't need to dig much deeper. I knew what happened. As I started getting into the NBA blog scene over the last three to four years, I realized there are incredible writers all over. So without further ado, a many thanks to Adam J. Morris, Joey Matches and Richard Durrett and the multiple, talented Ranger writers over at ESPNDallas.com.

3.) Realize how nice it is to enjoy a beer at the Ballpark: Even if it does cost $25.99 before taxes

4.) Let me witness a sports celebration at its finest: Watching Neftali Feliz break his nasty slider over the outside part of the plate. Alex Rodriguez frozen as if Kate Hudson just told him she has herpes. The Joy, the noise, the fireworks. Watching the end of Game 6 of the ALCS will go down as the greatest sports moment I've ever been apart of. I can't really imagine sports getting better than that. Except for, you know, actually winning it all. Baby steps.

5.) Make me look cool for always being a Ranger fan: Can't tell you enough how awesome it is to be following a crappy team in a sport that is losing fans across the 18-25 demographic to then finally be the story in the area. I had friends text me what some stats meant, if the Giants were good or not and who some of our bullpen and bench guys were.

6.) Get congratulatory text messages: What am I, a player? Jokes aside, it was very, very cool to receive texts and phone calls from close friends telling me how happy they were for me.

7.) Get an actual fan base? If you're reading this blog, chances are you went to high school with me or are one of my good friends. As much as I try to get this some more exposure (Note: I don't) it's pretty awesome to finally have some readers who aren't from Bedford, Texas. Of course, many of them are readers of the Ranger sites I dived into this summer and I consider them friends now as well.

8.) Make me appreciate (even like) country music: If 2004 Josh read this right now, he'd find me, punch me in the nuts and tell me to downtown Dallas and attend a hipster/indie/hardcore show ASAP. I can't help it. The Rangers played the song "I Like Texas" by Pat Green after every win and it's so damn catchy. I also attended Billy Bob's in Fort-Worth, the huge country music bar in North Texas. And guess what? It was the best night of my summer, country dancing the night away with the patrons. I don't know what's become of me. But I do know that life is too short to be stuck up about music or having fun. The youthful Rangers team taught me to hang loose, and have some fun in life.

9.) Inspire me to learn sabermetrics: WAR, UZR, wOBA, OPS+. Those could of been Franklin Roosevelt New Deal programs for all I knew. But I realize that the eye test and sabermetrics. Think Michael Young's defensive range is similar to Mo Vaughn's after he had a sleepover in a bakery? Check the UZR, you're probably right. Think Justin Smoak is actually hitting the ball well, he's just getting some bad luck and good plays made in the field? Check his line drive percentage and his batting average on balls put in play. You're probably right. Sabermetrics and the eye test can combine into a beautiful thing.

10.) Make me proud to be a Texan again: There's something about the Texas Rangers. They aren't the Dallas Rangers or the Arlington Rangers. They're the TEXAS Rangers. I don't know what it is about that, but it inspires a great sense of community and local pride. I compare it to the New England Patriots. I don't think the loyalty and the community for the fan base would be there if they were the Boston Patriots.

***

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Stage Two

I'm fairly certain that I passed staged one after I witnessed Madison Bumgarner mow down the Rangers like Jessica Simpson at a Chinese buffet. I couldn't believe it was happening.

After Nelson Cruz whiffed through a Brian Wilson fastball that was almost assuredly due to the magical powers invested in Wilson's beard, I didn't want to hear it from anyone. Reading Twitter, Facebook and all the blogs and papers, the "It was a great season!" line was not really working for me. I understand that it is. But I have to go through these three stages before I get to uttering that sentence.

Maybe it's because I'm a hyper-competitive guy. When I was cut from my 8th grade basketball team, I went into an uncontrollable rage/depression. I mean, I was cut for a reason: I sucked. I only played basketball for three years and only played because I was three feet taller than every other kid in our school. I grew to love it in 8th grade, but love only gets you so far. So I took that as a personal vendetta like my 8th grade basketball coach killed my parents leaving me only with my inherited fortune and a wise butler. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, basketball.

So I realized that even though I was a "big" guy, I needed to learn how to shoot. While the rest of my friends toiled around with toilet papering the jocks' houses and having Halo LAN parties, I told my Dad to buy me a basketball hoop so I could shoot baskets for two hours a day. (Note: let the record show that as soon as those two hours were over, I went and played Halo and participated in shenanigans.)

So yeah, that's me. I'm the guy who leaves the room and won't talk to you after losing in a "Madden" game in overtime. I'm the guy who kicks and throws chairs after losing in a pickup game at the local YMCA. I'm the guy who has single handily ruined dates because the Mavericks blew a 13-point lead to the Celtics in Boston.

(Note: Yes, sadly, these are all true)

So forgive me if I don't want to embrace the positive. I'm in no mood. The Rangers were in the World Series for the first time in their history. And it's never a lock, ever. For a local example, when the Mavericks made their historic run in 2006, the core group was still in it's prime with a head coach well respected throughout the league. The team even had a few youngsters that had room to grow (Josh Howard, Devin Harris) and the MVP of the league. How's that worked out? Oh, how about they've been done after the first round since except for 2009 playoffs. For a recent baseball example, remember the Tampa Bay Rays improbable World Series run of 2008? Fans didn't worry, they had one of the youngest teams in the league with rising stars. B.J. Upton looked like the next "it" guy. What's happened since? Missed the playoffs in 2009 and lost in the ALDS this season. Now their entire team might be scrapped to frugal finances and B.J. Upton gets as many hits as Amy Winehouse lately.

There are no guarantees. Win the championship while you can. The A's young guns are going to be a year older/better and the Angels will be a year healthier.

So, yes. Eventually I'll be able to say "Well, it was a great season!"

But that'll be another three stages first.

***

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This is Madness

“'But I don’t want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.

'Oh, you can’t help that,' said the Cat. 'We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.'

'How do you know I’m mad?' said Alice.

'You must be,” said the Cat. 'or you wouldn’t have come here.'”

Never mind that I just quoted Alice in Wonderland. Never mind that I haven't written in 8,000 years. It's 1:30 a.m. I've been up stirring and this is what you get.

Because I think it fits. We've all gone just a little (if not more) mad following this team this year. Between the sometimes egregious baserunning, the silent bats, the terrible defense at third base or the fact that the your colored dot lost for the 10th straight dot race, we all have our reasons.

The Rangers are in the World Series. If it ends with the Giants capping off an improbable season (maybe more so than ours. At least SOME experts thought the Rangers would actually make the playoffs) they'll say we should celebrate. They'll say we should enjoy it. They'll say to remember it it. 

I say the Rangers should of won. And not winning isn't OK. We've already celebrated. Between the filthy slider from Neftali Feliz against Alex Rodriguez and Elvis Andrus' soft single to left field against the Tim Lincecum, the Rangers have celebrated. We've celebrated. It was great, it was grand. But it isn't everything.

Sure, I sound like a rotten old curmudgeon (Note: I am. My mother has been calling me a cranky old man since I was in 6th grade) but I don't care. I want to win. If we don't win I'll be pissed. I know every other Ranger fan will be too, but I really won't care for the first person to tell me "Hey it was a good season!" after the Giants win.

And tonight was a sucker punch. It felt like my fiance dumped me at the alter for her second cousin and then started making out with him in front of my parents. That's how I feel. Does that make me sick? (Note: Yes) Do others feel how I feel? (Note: hopefully not) but all I can say is it sucks. Tonight was worse than the first two games by a long shot. At least we weren't at the 8th inning meltdown in Game 2. At least we weren't at Cliff Lee's shelling in Game 1. I was there tonight front and center. A crowd that was ready to burst. 

After Josh Hamilton reached on an error in the bottom of the 7th, Vlad stepped to the plate. Despite looking absolutely foolish in two earlier strikeouts, the crowd rose up. They remembered Game 6 of the ALCS. They remember Joe Girardi intentionally walking Hamilton...again. They remember the swing. They remember the emphatic 'claw.' They chanted his name

Vladdy! Vladdy! Vladdy!

The chant rang once again. Only a 3-0 San Francisco lead. One swing could cut it to one, with Nelson Cruz waiting. There was still life. The crowd keep chanting throughout the count.

Vladdy! Vladdy! Vladdy!

Hell, I even chanted. I try to keep my emotions in check while attending games as a fan because I don't want to look like an ass or curse in front of children. Those parents' glares are the worst. But I didn't care, everyone was chanting. It was the World Series. 

Then Vlad swung through a change up from Madison Bumgarner. "Swung" is probably to kind. It looked as if Vlad was trying to return a senior citizen's serve in  a game of badminton. A pathetic swing on a change up that floated right over the heart of the plate.

The crowd was done after that. We tired. But the Rangers were not scoring tonight, no matter how much we chanted. Vlad's demise over the second half and the postseason are greatly explored by much brighter minds than myself. I don't dare to read over the numbers again. 

The Rangers will recover. They have too. But the crowd has to recover too. Whenever I watch a game in person or on TV I always think of what I would make the lede for the story (I know, I know, I'm a big nerd.) Tonight I probably would of gone with something like this:

"On a night that celebrates ghosts, ghouls and goblins the Texas Ranger bats were more frightening than Frankenstein."

I told my Dad and a few friends about how I'm worried about tomorrow. Cliff Lee has never pitched well in Arlington. I don't know why I said or thought that. Maybe it's because his career 5.07 ERA in Arlington terrifies me. 

But then I looked at this year: 61.2 innings pitched, 2.92 ERA, 55 strikeouts, 4 walks and a .205 batting average against. 

Halloween sucked. Tomorrow is Cliffmas. Mission NOT accomplished.

***

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Cowboys-text retro diary

The Cowboys are mess. You know this, your friends know this and your dog has probably been rolling around on his back  and shaking lately because he knows this (or he's hungry/has to pee). The Rangers are tied 1-1 with the Yankees in the ALCS. So why on this green Earth am I writing my first post since Oct. 8 on the Cowboys and not the Rangers? Because I felt like reliving the game through me and my buddy Jeff's text conversation during the game. Jeff is the hardest of hardcore for the Cowboys. But he isn't a blatant homer - he calls it like it is, he just knows his football and knows the roster like his favorite iTunes playlist. So without further ado, we start just after Roy Williams scored the first TD for the Cowboys in the first quarter (sorry for the texting grammer in advance):

5:02 first quarter: Roy Williams TD gives Dallas 7-0 lead


Me: "So even if the Cowboys win, they're still 2-3. This sucks."

Jeff: "Josh this right here is why I hate you a little bit. Let me enjoy this one touchdown we get today before the Vikings dline eats out oline on their way to raping and then eating romo."

Me: (After a long "haha" stretch) "I'm sorry. By the way, is Roy Williams being good at football?"

(Note: legit question. For some reason this year Roy Williams is looking like someone who is good at football, as opposed to someone who is very bad at football)

Jeff: "I'll never believe it (I started wearing my Roy Williams jersey again)"

Me: "Haha. And if Romo gets raped let it at least be Allen or the Williams duo. Don't let that sh*t Edwards sack him 28 times." (As you can tell, I'm real classy when I text my buddies)

Doug Free then completely freezes as the ball is snapped, misses the snap, and Allen rolls over Romo for a sack


Me: "Wow Doug Free. Eat my *rhymes with "dock"*


Jeff: "Yeah f*ck that guy. And as you just saw it was Allen that got the raping."

Me: "BTW, I bet the Vikings/Cowboys are the best Madden teams ever."

Greg Camarillo scores a touchdown, beating Orlando Scandrick, which a paraplegic could do, to tie the game at 7-7 at the end of the first quarter.


Jeff: "I hate my life."

Jeff: (Getting to my Madden text since Camarillo's TD interrupted him) "Haha, btw I bought Madden yesterday. Finally fell off the wagon."

Me: "Hahaha. How is it? I still don't have it." (I'm very jovial in my texts. I enjoy laughing through texts.)

Jeff: "Only had time to play one game so far. It's weird. Going to take some getting used to. Good news is I played cowboys v. Vikings and we won. Big time."

Miles Austin breaks what would of been a 50+ yard TD


Me: (being snarky) "dude why did we pay Miles Austin? He's such a one hit wonder."

Austin is flagged for offensive pass interference


Me: "WTFFFFFF"

Me: "Dammnit"

Jeff: ":("

Jeff: "I waited to celebrate, they threw that flag so late!"

One of the many Cowboy screen attempts fails miserably thanks to a hapless offensive line

Me: "I know! It was a good call though. And can we try out for cowboys o line? I think we can help."

Jeff: "Harwood bteam oline was much better." (Harwood was our Jr. High. There was an A team and B team. Yep, we were B team offensive linemen.)

Some penalty occurs, lost track since there were 23982039


Me: "Alright. This is pissing me off"

Jeff: "F*ck every coach on this staff."

Me: "And f*ck Jerry a bit for hiring coaches with no spine." (Note: on second though, f*ck Jerry a lot)

Jeff: "Seriously man. F*ck this shit."

The Cowboys are driving to end the half thanks to some semblance of a running game. Romo has had two long runs out of scrambling. 


Me: "At least we're sorta running."

Jeff: "Romos running that's cool, we'll get to the two and buehler will miss the fg."

(Note: It's unbelievable how little faith the Cowboys or its fans have in David Buehler. It's about as much faith the kid in "Liar, Liar" has in Jim Carrey at the beginning of the movie)

Me: "Probably. I love when the o line celebrates a Romo run. Even though it's their fault he had to take off in the first place."

Jeff: "Yeah, they're just taking what they can get at this point."

Roy Williams scores his second TD on a beautiful throw on the slant route to put the Cowboys up 14-7 heading to the locker room. 


Me: "HOLY SH*T. ROY WILLIAMS."

Jeff: "I PICKED THAT DUDE UP IN MY FANTASY LEAGUE HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO BAD AFTER THAT."

Me: "Can we not call him bad at football anymore? I'm scared. That was our fall back joke."

Jeff: "I'm so scared! This is just... NOOO"

Right before the second half starts


Me: "So are we winning this game or are we going to sh*t the bed?"

Jeff: "That bed will have copious amounts of sh*t in, on and around it."

Percy Harvin takes the opening kick off to the house, score tied at 14-14.


Jeff: "Told ya."

Me: "Time to change the sheets. It's stinky."

Jeff: "Putrid. I'm miserable."

Me: "There always has to be something in DFW sports-wise to make us miserable."

Jeff: "Yeah, and since the rangers are the team doing well it requires severe balancing with misery."

Cowboys get backed up inside their own five yard line towards the end of the third quarter


Me: (Sarcastically) "I feel really good about this drive. It's really going to go places."

Cowboys putter around for three plays and punt from their own end zone


Jeff: "Great places."

Cowboys head to the fourth quarter down 21-14. Start a drive and go for it on fourth and one in field goal range. Barber picks up the first down.


Me: "I'm glad we can at least get a first down since we have no faith in our FG kicker."

Jeff: "Haha seriously. Glad we have faith in him to not replace him but not enough to use him."

Romo throws his 99823972 swing pass to Felix Jones on the flank route


Jeff: "I think Jason Garrett got really into the song "swing swing" this week."

Same drive, Cowboys getting closer


Me: "Wait. WTF. Did Romo play-action that to nobody??"

(Note: He really did. Romo does a play action to no one in particular. The RB went on a route immediately and the FB set up to block. I have no idea what that was)

Jeff: "Yes. Didn't fool ya?"

Dez Bryant scores a 31-yd TD on a spectacular throw/catch. Romo puts the right to his hands but the Vikings corner catches up to get his hands in the way. Bryant takes it anyway and scores


Me: "DEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"

Jeff: "HES SO UNCOWBOY LIKE"

Me: "BTW, screens don't work when A.) You run them every other play and B.) Your offensive linemen run like Vlad Guerrero."

Jeff: "Don't give them that. They're all bengie molinas and you know it."

Me: ":( at least that Ray Lewis Old Spice commercial was awesome."

Jeff: "These are the kinds of things you have to appreciate when you're a cowboy fan."

With the game tied and the clock under 10 minute mark, Minnesota runs a screen play on third down that goes absolutely no where


Me: "I'm glad Jason Garrett called that play for the Vikings."

Jeff: "Haha he walked over there and went 'celeb playcall?'"

Me: "And he nailed it."

Jeff: "Oh you know he fist pumped afterward."

Romo throws a back-breaking interception as he tries to go to Jason Whitten over the middle. Middle linebacker faked the blitz and then dropped back to pick it off. Romo never saw him


Me: "You know I love Romo. But these interceptions are really busting my balls."

Jeff: "I didn't see last game but as far as I'm concerned only 1 today is his fault."

Me: "I know. But that last one really steamed me."

(Note: Me and Jeff are pretty big Romo-Homos. Mainly because the Cowboys QB situation before him featured a crack head, some obscure white guy, a guy that used to be good for Michigan and then a 75 year old veteran. I count my blessings for Romo, because the Cowboys could be way, way worse)

Jeff: "Yeah, that one was a dagger. But come on man it was tied we had to do something to eff it all up."

Vikings take the short field after the INT, looking to drive home for a TD. Already in field goal range


Me: "Chances we old them to a field goal?"

Jeff: "-100000000000000%"

Me: "Field goal! and Alan Ball made a play! What next? Leonard Davis makes a good block on a screen?"

Jeff: "I'll tell ya what's next: cowboys drive to the 10, buehler misses tying field goal as time expires, Jerry immediately expresses support for buehler."

(Note: Man, you'd think we are Cleveland fans)

Me: "How about the 3,000 swing pass to Felix Jones?"

Jeff: "get ready for 3001"

Cowboys driving, need to convert a third down with about three minutes left to keep drive alive


Me: "Seriously? That's how it is going to end? Dez has hands bigger than the Seinfield man hands chick."

Jeff: "Okay were punting. We have 2 timeouts and they have Adrian Peterson. This game is over."

Jeff: "I'm miserable."

Vikings take over, need to convert a first down to end game


Me: "But they have Brad Childress."

Jeff: "The Vikings are us in training. They're trying their best to underachieve and blow games, but they just can't outblow the masters."

On a third down with under three minutes to go, Michael Jenkins is called for pass interference 


Me: "There's the poop cherry on top of our sh*t sundae."

Jeff: "GO RANGERS."

Vikings punt away to the Cowboys

Me: "We're fine. We only have 13 seconds to go 8 million yards."

Me: "WTF ROY WILLIAMS."

Ballgame. Cowboys lose 24-21 to the Vikings

Jeff: "I want to die."

Me: "Would it make you feel any better if I took our entire convo this game and made it a blog post?"

Jeff: "It would probably be worth the loss."

***

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Five Things to Watch in Game 3

I've been doing this journalist thing since my junior year in high school. Since that time I've meet numerous colleagues, friends, co-workers, teachers, lovers (made you look!), professionals at countless schools, newsrooms, conventions and conferences. And there's one thing I always hear, no matter where I am or who I talk to:

Everyone likes lists!

I mean how can you not? Lists are great for me because I can mindlessly throw out a column without having to follow the typical story telling format. And you guys love them because you can mindlessly digest the information without having to try and figure out what I'm talking about or what my point is. It's a win-win (win).

Without further ado, here are five things you should watch for when...er...watching the Rangers on Saturday.

1.) Which Colby Lewis are we seeing?


Without a doubt, Lewis has been royally screwed by his own team over the course of the year. He finished the season 12-13 despite a 3.72 ERA and 196 strikeouts. Lewis had more strikeouts in 2010 than David Price, Cliff Lee, Zach Greinke, Matt Latos, Josh Johnson, Chris Carpenter and Roy Oswalt. But while Lewis' low win total has a lot to do with the Rangers offensive ineptitude in his starts, let's not suger coat it - Lewis contributed at times in those losses down the stretch in August and September. Lewis finished with an ERA north of four in those months. What makes me giddy though? Even with the "struggles," Lewis' post-All-Star batting average against was only .249, with the highest month average being .278. Also during August and September, he was still striking out a batter per inning. The key for Lewis is fastball command. We all know how deadly his breaking pitches (such as his slider) can be. But his fastball hovers around 90 mph and with bad control, he can give up the long ball as he's given up 21 home runs on the year. I looked it up and noticed Roy Halladay gave up 24 this year and figured Colby was alright in that number, but then realized Halladay had pitched 50 more innings.

2.) Rangers at max capacity 


For the first time in the playoffs, the Rangers will finally roll out with their most efficient and productive offensive lineup as David Murphy will step in and play left field. It's been a long time since the Rangers have had their number one lineup and they've obviously been fine so far mixing and matching with Julio Borbon and Jeff Francoeur. With 11 runs scored in two games, it's not much to expect the Rangers to try and keep that production up with their best offensive lineup.

3.) Then again, this Matt Garza guy is pretty good


My older brother played baseball since he was five, all the way through college at Texas A&M. I remember once talking to him while watching a Minnesota game and he told me how one of his buddies on his college team had played with Garza in the minor leagues.

"So, how is he?" I asked.

"He's good, but he's a big time prick," my brother said not-so-subtly.

There's a reason Minnesota shipped him away to Tampa, besides the fact that they felt they had enough arms in their system to replace him: Garza hasn't always rubbed himself the right way to his teammates. That said, that probably has absolutely nothing to do with what Garza is going to do against the Rangers tomorrow. Whatever. What I do know about Garza (that is actually relavent) is that Garza has a reputation as a "power pitcher." He certainly has a good mid-to-upper 90s fastball but I feel as if casual baseball fans assume he's a strikeout machine. He's not. His no-hitter on July 26th was a perfect example of Garza's game: attack with fastballs in the zone, induce weak contact early in the count, then finish off the batter with a slider late in the count. Garza only recorded six strikeouts in the game, a somewhat pedestrian number for a no-hitter. Garza also hasn't posted a 200+ strikeout season, with 189 being his highest total in 2009. In no way am I saying that Garza doesn't have swing and miss stuff. He does. He just induces more weak contact than he does strikeouts. The caveat to inducing more weak contact than strikeouts is sometimes the hitters put good swings on the ball. Garza has given up 28 home runs this year, and 25 last year and posted a .248 batting average against this year. That's good, but not number one dominant, especially compared to what the Rangers' playoff starters have done this year.

To wrap up this extremely lengthy point, Garza has completely owned the Rangers over his career and especially this year (12.2 IP, 2.84 ERA, 14 K's, 4 BB). He's only struck out one other team more in his career than the Rangers. Ouch.

4.) Have the Rays 100 percent mentally checked out of this series?


The Rays have done everything they weren't in the regular season: sloppy baseball and total discomposure when the heat is on. They've committed three errors in the series (two more than the Rangers). They've suffered two back-breaking calls and let the moment slip away (fail to score after the Carlos Pena "foul tip" with bases loaded and one out in Game 1 and Michael Young's three run home run after a disputed strike three check-swing). Both games the Rays have been visibly upset with themselves and the umpires and the team has imploded in the latter innings of both games. Joe Maddon now looks like an arrogant (or desperate) manager with his lineup moves and pitching rotations. Check the first couple of innings to see if this Rays' team is ready to bring the series back to Tampa or if they've already booked their off-season vacations.

5.) Is Arlington (or North Texas for that matter) a baseball town/area?


Bill Simmons proposed this question during San Francisco's exhilarating 1-0 win over the Braves on Thursday. And while tomorrow's game will technically be played during daylight hours, I'm inclined to think The Ballpark in Arlington (it will always be known as that to me) could crack number three or four. I know an outrageous amount of people from all over Texas that will be attending the game, from Bedford to Denton to Tyler. The ballpark is sold out with no standing room left and will be filled with fans preparing to clinch it's first baseball playoff series win, ever. I can only imagine how jacked tomorrow will be. I'll be there.

Let's do this.